A letter

“Friendship isn’t about who you’ve known the longest. It’s about who walked into your life, said “I’m here for you” and proved it!”

A letter to my best friend

Sometimes I wonder if you know what you did to me the day you proved that you are in my life to stay. I told you, you crawled into my heart. Making yourself at home and knowing you are going to stay. You became my rock, my anchor when I felt like I was drifting away. You became my light in the dark when I could not see my way out. You were there always in my time of need.

The first time I knew you were in my life to stay, was when I was going through one of the toughest times in my life. I would literally sit and contemplate what I had left in a world where I had no one to turn to when I had nobody. But you, you saw my pain and you embraced my pain, my loneliness and you held me. You gave me a chance to cry, you gave me a chance to be vulnerable. That was the moment I knew I had made a true friend, one who I could trust, one who I could lean on.

You were the first one I told about what makes me special, about what happens to me during the night. You are the one who helped me through the unknown. You are the one I turn to when I need someone to talk to or just when I need a friend.

For a moment in time I was stuck in an infinite loop of torture, abuse and hell. You just came along and broke the loop, you helped me escape my horrors. When you helped me escape you were busy falling into your own horror show. You were starting to hit a low point in your life.

It was my time to be your rock, anchor and light. It was my time to help you escape your fears and your horrors. When times were at its bleakest I tried to show you the light as you did for me.

In the end this is only a letter to thank you. To thank you for balancing my life. Thank you for hugging me a little longer when I needed it. Thank you for saying words of comfort which brings tears to my eyes.

Sometimes we get busy, sometimes I am afraid to open up. But once I am around you I can be the me I am supposed to be.

You came into my life and you made yourself at home, now I will never be able to see what life can possibly be without you. You became my family.

Thank you.

I love you unconditionally.

Strapped

Strapped down. Come save me

Dreams can be beautiful, joyful, a drift in one’s imagination; but what happens when you wake up trapped, strapped down tortured, dying, crying, not able to escape. Nightmares. Nightmares that is what no one wants. Nightmares which causes you to cry in your sleep and making you scream, waking up frightened and drenched in sweat.

I am so tired, my eyes are heavy, wanting to close, and sleep threatens to let the nightmare in. No, no, no, no I am drifting away slowly my mind has no control, I pray save me from my soul. Sleep is taking control, I cannot stop it, I have to say goodnight…
I woke up slowly strapped down naked, the smell of blood filled the air accompanied by the smell of burned and rotten flesh. My body aches what’s going on why can I not move? “Hello” my voice is rigged the word barely leaving my mouth. My throat burns like the fire of hell. “heeelll” I want to scream for help but my voice won’t allow me to scream or utter a word. Then a dark shadow appears from behind me. I cannot see anything particular but eyes burning into my skull and a smile formed with vengeance. What did I do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve this agonising torture?
The figure is moving a contraption towards me. Panic fills my mind, what is it my body cannot take any more pain. The figure bends over my squirming body and whispers into my ear: “only because I love you” and then he blindfolded me. And strapped my mouth close with a leather strap. Panic filled ever muscle in my body as I tried to squirm myself out of the bindings. Moaning in a state of fear trying to persuade the sick sadist to let me go. I think I might have angered it because the next thing I knew I felt a sharp pain which was followed by pain unexplainable, unimaginable. White hot pain is blazing through my body and I can feel my brain is overloading with the pain. Darkness is devouring me, again.
I drift away into sleep still strapped to the table not able to wake up. Not being able to wake up, I feel a constant drip, drip, drip in between my eyes. It did not end it felt like it has been weeks since I have woken up. The drip, drip, drip continues. Slowly driving me insane. Left in my own demise I start to cry not able to hold back the tears, all because off the constant drip, drip, drip. Then I heard the words roll off my tongue without thinking I said: “please, please just kill me already." The figure appeared again and whispered into my ear “if I kill you I kill myself”. At first it made zero since. A few hours passed before my blindfold was removed and I saw the figure, it was me. A spitting image of me. She made me stand up, after removing the bindings. Half supporting me she bursts out laughing. “You know what maybe I should kill you now, I know you will come back tomorrow then we can continue making us scream”. She picked up a double edged silver knife and jammed it into my back and forced the blade up, I almost blacked out instantly. Then I could feel my lungs forcing the blood through my air pipes, I am drowning in my own blood. It became hard to breathe and the last thing I saw was me standing over my body laughing as I drift into darkness.

Kicking and screaming I woke up, my clothes drenched in sweat. I was still crying. But I was not alone. In my state of tears and shock I turned around to see my anchor laying there, my love. He must have heard my cries and woke up instantly. Instinct took over and I flung myself over him. Because even though I was going through hell i had someone to cling onto. Someone on the other side knowing how to comfort me, knowing to hold me and carry me in my time of need.

A little imagination

"Logic will get you from A to B, but imagination will take you everywhere”-Albert Einstein

It is astonishing how many different people there are in the world. I know everyone are unique and do everything in their own way. But have you ever gone and watched people closely, and see what they admire, what drives them, what their passions are? I have done this numerous times. Just go to a public place and see how people function. It is just astonishing. Everyone has an imagination and we have to learn the ability to use it in everything we do. We need to go out and see how people function so that we do not end up the same. Life is very short and the only thing that is in the same routine is us humans. We stand up we do our thing, we sleep and repeat. People are becoming depressed and moan every day that they are bored out of their minds but what do they do? They do not use this wonderful thing we have which is called an imagination.
I have been sitting and pondering on this topic for a fairly long time, but I never knew how to word my ideas until now.

Our daily routines have drilled it into our minds that when we move from A to B we must only focus on the destination ahead. Our minds are programmed to only focus on the road ahead we are not programmed to stop alongside the road and admire the scenery. I have asked this exact question to a few people and all of them say “we never look at the landscape when we go places.” We are so focused on what lies ahead we forget what is right in front of us.

People of today struggle to see the little things in life or to gain motivation, but I can never see them applying a little imagination to the process. I am also guilty of this I sometimes forget to sit breathe and involve a little colour in the situation.

We need to open our minds and see what is in front of us. We need to stop living in the past, because it is gone. We should not live for tomorrow because it is not promised we should live now in the moment. So when you drive home from work, take a detour and discover new pathways, discover what you have missed.